Father’s Day 2016 — Thanks, baby!

with baby L

Most of us dads are used to being appreciated a bit as Fathers Day approaches, but should we thank our babies for making us dads?  Is that ridiculous or a deep, insightful exercise?  Life of Dad  and Pampers seem to think such an inquiry falls into the latter category.  As such, I’ve been asked (read:  paid) to participate in an exercise that includes an analysis of how becoming a dad has benefited me.

with baby M

Hmmmm.  Okay, I got this.

Because I’m a dad, I no longer hold others’ babies as far from my body as my arms can possibly reach, like I’m offering the gods a living sacrifice.

Because I’m a dad, I know that urine goes right through a Herman Miller Aeron chair!

Because I’m a dad, I’m ready for Big Brother and the ubiquitous surveillance that will one day come to our society, as I’ve been meticulously watched, noted, and imitated for the past 9 years.

Because I’m a dad, I’ve expanded my vocabulary to include new, obscure references to expletives or abbreviations for same (most of the time).

Because I’m a dad, I know what Pixar is working on at all times.

Because I’m a dad, I drive a much safer vehicle and even drive more safely, whether I have passengers or not.

Because I’m a dad, my birthday parties start at 5pm, and the yard has more games in it, fewer piles of dog manure, and drastically fewer late night appearances (by me) in drag.

Because I’m a dad, I feel guilty about frequently leaving my dad’s tools in the woods 30 years ago, because I know how it feels to buy the same hammer 3 times.

Because I’m a dad, I fly to conferences where other dads go to learn how to be better dads.

Because I’m a dad, I buy 5 plane tickets instead of 1.

Because I’m a dad, I can’t ever sleep in or late.  No matter what time I go to bed.

Because I’m a dad, all my old Star Wars action figures, GI Joe action figures, Transformers, and GoBots have gotten a new lease on life. Some of my old stuffed animals, too.

Because I’m a dad, I find videos like this one endearing:

Because I’m a dad, I rush to get home every night that I can, so I don’t miss family dinner and bedtime reading time.

Because I’m a dad, “bjorn” no longer means “tall Swedish dude” to me.

baby O in sling

Because I’m a dad, I prioritize becoming a better version of myself.  Or try to, anyway.

Because I’m a dad, I stop making lists like this one, so I can go see what the hell that noise was coming from the den.

Happy fathers day!

One Comment on “Father’s Day 2016 — Thanks, baby!

  1. I remember ALL of these moments, and can attest that every one of these things really happened. Thanks for being an amazing dad, and getting better at it every year. xo

Leave a Reply